Parody on the Titanic II
by Eddy Fawkes
Summary: Can Jessie and James have a relaxing vacation? Crazily rocketshippy with a healthy dose of Ash-bashing!


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**Summary: **Can Jessie and James have a relaxing vacation? Crazily rocketshippy with a healthy dose of Ash-bashing!

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**Parody on the Titanic II**

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Narrator: There's a brand new cruise liner even more luxurious than the St. Anne! It's the Titanic II, sailing from one of Vermilion City's docks to the wonderful beach of Porta Vista. Sights can be seen from the decks of Titanic II like Maiden's Peak, local gyms, and more! So get your tickets now and have no fear, for Titanic II is specially protected against icebergs!

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Brock: Hey everyone, guess what? We're taking a cruise on the Titanic II!

Misty: Cool! I always wanted to take a real cruise!

Ash: Why's it called Titanic II? Was there a Titanic I?

Brock: Um, yeah, but let's not get into that.

* * *

James: Hey everybody! Guess what I have tickets to?

Meowth: The all-you-can-eat buffet?

Jessie: A beauty parlor?

Meowth: Oh what what what?!

James: No for you, Meowth. Just for Jessie and me. Besides, you're a _cat_.

Meowth: Oh, I'm ashamed! So terribly terribly ashamed!

Jessie: So what are the tickets for already?

James: A cruise on the Titanic II!

James has a vision of Jessie saying, "Oh James! You're so wonderful and smart! Those tickets must have cost a fortune!"

Jessie: James, don't you know that the first Titanic HIT AN ICEBERG!?

James: Yes, but-

Jessie: Don't you know that it SANK!?

James: Yes, but-

Jessie: Don't you know that people DIED on that ship?!

James: Yes, but-

Jessie: So does this prove that you're stupid?

James: Yes, but-

* * *

Sailor: All aboard the Titanic II!

Jessie: I can't believe that I'm letting you drag me into this.

James: Oh, come on, it'll be fun! Besides, the Titanic II has special protection against icebergs!

Jessie: Don't say the word "iceberg" around me, OK? I'm trying to forget what happened to the first Titanic.

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The scene shows Brock and Misty boarding the Titanic II. They meet up with Ash, who is carrying a ton of history books.

Misty: What are all the books for, Ash?

Ash: They're all books on the Titanic! I'm reading up and trying to understand!

Misty: Books on the… first… Titanic?

Ash: Yep!

Brock: Augh! Throw them over the side of the boat!

Brock tosses all the books over the edge.

Ash: Hey! What'ja do that for?

Brock: They'd bring bad luck upon us all! Now let's try to have a nice, relaxing vacation, OK? Our rooms are supposed to be on the second floor.

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Narrator: The Titanic II has weighed its anchor and is setting its course for Porta Vista.

Ash, Misty, and Brock are walking along the top deck when they bump into…

Ash: Augh! It's Team Rocket!

Jessie & James: Augh! It's Team Twerp!

Misty: You just have to follow us everywhere, even on vacations!

James: What do you mean? We're on vacation too!

Ash: Really?

Jessie: Yeah. A highly suicidal vacation.

Brock: I'm just surprised that the ship hasn't cracked down its middle and sunk yet with you two on board.

James: Was that an insult?

Brock: You bet.

Misty: OK everyone, we are not going to fight and spoil our vacations, so we can solve this problem ad pretend that Team Rocket doesn't exist.

Ash, Misty, and Brock leave the scene to go to their rooms on the second level.

* * *

Ash, Misty, and Brock are in their rooms partying when Ash walks over to the TV and sticks a videotape in.

Ash: I almost forgot! This is the one thing that Brock didn't throw over the side of the boat!

Misty: What is it, Ash?

Ash: The Titanic movie! I rented it from the video store!

Brock: Oh no! You shouldn't watch that movie! It'll give you the wrong idea, it's so fictional!

Misty: What are you talking about, Brock? I LOVE this movie!

Brock, being outvoted, goes to sit with Pikachu on the deck.

Brock: So how are you today, Pikachu?

Pikachu: Kachu.

Brock: Oh, you have a cold. I'm sorry.

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Approximately 4 hours later…

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Misty and Ash, after watching the Titanic movie, come up on deck to meet up with Brock.

Misty: Sniff… sniff… I love that movie… it's so sweet…

Ash: I think I get it now. Did the first Titanic sink?

Brock: I think you might want to pay some attention to Pikachu, Ash. It's been sneezing a lot lately.

As the three walk along the railing, they spot Jessie and James watching the sunset together.

Misty: Aw, that's so cute. Don't they remind you of a certain two people?

Ash: Yeah, now that you mention it. They're perfect imitations of Bonnie and Clyde!

Misty: Your skull is so thick that it's a wonder your brain fits inside your head.

Brock: What brain?

At that moment, the ship quakes and emits a low groan.

Jessie: Aahh! We hit an iceberg! We're all gonna DIE!!

The captain rushes by and Brock stops him. Everyone crowds around and pounds him with questions.

Brock: What happened?

Jessie: Did we hit an iceberg?!

Captain: Oh no no. Most definitely not. We certainly did not hit an iceberg.

Everyone sighs with relief.

Captain: We hit a coral reef.

Jessie, James, Ash, Misty, & Brock: WHAT!!

Captain: Yes. We will sink in approximately ten minutes. The ship will crack in half and pull us all under with its tremendous suction, where we will all drown or be crushed to the size of a singe atom. Now if you'll excuse me, I have get the lifeboats.

Everyone stands completely dumbfounded, when a wave washes over the side of the ship and knocks them all unconscious.

* * *

Approximately ten minutes later…

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Narrator: The Titanic II is sinking. We don't know what happened to Jessie and James, but Ash, Misty, Brock, and Pikachu are being sucked under the water.

Brock: This is a test of brainpower! Only the smartest of us all will survive!

They are all sucked under the water. A few minutes later, Pikachu surfaces and swims off.

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The scene shows Jessie and James holding onto a piece of wood, floating in the middle of the ocean.

Jessie: This is all your fault.

James: I wanna refund! It's not fair! We didn't get to see the entire cruise!

Jessie: How much did those tickets cost, anyway?

James: About ten thousand dollars each.

James has a vision of Jessie saying, "A thousand dollars each?! Oh James, I can't believe you spent all that money on me!"

Jessie: What a total waste of cash! …Hey, the Boss only pays us 100 each year. How do you get 20,000 out of that?

James: I, er, know your bank account number.

Jessie: Grrr…

James: Look on the bright side. At least we're alive.

Jessie: Yeah. I'm ALIVE floating around in the middle of the ocean with a guy who's trying to be Leo DeCaprio.

They float along for a while, until James can't stand the silence.

James: Am I?

Jessie: Are you what?

James: Am I Leo DeCaprio?

James has yet another vision of Jessie saying, "Yeah, James, you most definitely are. In fact, I think you're more handsome than he is."

Jessie: Dream on, James.

* * *

James: The name's Pond. James Pond.

Jessie: Give up, James. You'll never be a famous movie star. And by the way, it's Bond, not Pond.

James: I knew that, I was just making a joke, because that's where we are: a pond. Get it?

The scene zooms out and shows Jessie and James as a dot in a big, gigantic ocean of blue with no sign of anything resembling land.

James: OK, OK, a really, really _big_ pond.

Something begins to surface near them. As they clutch each other in terror, the hatch of something really big and yellow opens.

Cassidy: We all live in a yellow submarine, a yellow submarine, a yellow submarine.

Butch: Cassidy's into the Beatles lately.

Cassidy: All aboard the yellow submarine!

Grateful to be out of the water, Jessie and James board the yellow submarine.

* * *

Jessie has just woken up from a nap when James enters her room in the yellow submarine.

Jessie: So how long do we get to stay on this thing?

James: We've got about two hours left.

Jessie: No way! Cassidy would never let us stay on that long! What'd ya do?

James: I paid them.

James has a sad vision of Jessie, saying like she always does, "James, you're such an idiot. Why'd you pay them?"

Jessie: James, I think that's a wonderful idea!

James: You do?

Jessie: Yeah, IF YOU'RE PREPARED TO NOT EAT FOR THE NEXT TWO YEARS.

* * *

Approximately two hours later…

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Cassidy: Okeedoke. Looks like your trip in the yellow submarine is over.

Butch: Open up the hatch!

Jessie and James get out of the open hatch.

James: I was assuming you'd take us toward land.

Cassidy: Hm. Don't remember anything like that in our contract.

Butch: Oh well. Too bad.

Butch pushes Jessie and James over the edge.

* * *

Later that night…

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Narrator: Jessie and James have washed up on the beach. They trek along the sandy dunes until…

James: Look, Jessie! It's Porta Vista!

Narrator: Yes, Team Rocket has reached the lovely vacation spot of Porta Vista. Wait. Team Rocket's never supposed to have success!

Jessie: Yeah, that's because Nintendo was always writing the script. Now there's someone new with a better interpretation of Team R!

Eddy Fawkes: Hello everyone.

Narrator: No! Not you! You'll completely mess up this show (like you did already)! Now I'll have to leave and become a bachelor!

Jessie & James: A bachelor?...?...?

Eddy: Ah well. This looks like a good place for…

Jessie & James: A good place for what?

El: This! ...THE END


End file.
